Being Part of Something Bigger

I remember growing up as a kid, I was always the smallest. I was the smallest sibling, the smallest at church, and the smallest at school. I thought I would never hit this ominous "growth spurt" my parents had promised me would come. This "small time crisis" lead to some real disappointments in my childhood. I was always the last to picked for the kickball team, and was the obvious target of any other kid who needed to make an example of his own dominance on the playground. Most of the time, I just felt like I was in the way. Of course, time heals all wounds- and provides enough space for one to get juiced up on pride. This is all part of the human condition. The fog of pride often blinds our peripheral vision. We find ourselves focused on our own narrow paths, the roads that we are traveling. It's difficult to see our lives or existence as being part of something bigger.

The past few days have brought a clearing of the fog in my own journey. This weekend I had the opportunity to perform a wedding for my wife's sister, Michelle; and, the love of her life, Chris. The weekend was busy, and not without its fair share of wedding stress. When Saturday rolled around, and there I was standing of front of this beautiful bride, and her husband-to-be, I have to admit that I was overwhelmed. In that moment it felt like the lens of the cosmos zoomed out, off of my little journey- and I stood on a stage in the midst of something bigger. I felt the eyes of Heaven were watching. While I officiated the matrimonial service, I knew that I was only part of something bigger. The Holy Spirit was there, tying the knot- if you will. It was as if I stood in the shadow of Christ himself. I felt so small- so in the way.

I drove home that Saturday full of God's peace and refreshment. Upon arrival I had to hit the ground running. On my way into the house I am using my phone to send out last minute texts and emails- preparing for Sunday's big Easter service. I was up until 2:00 AM getting things together, and my wife was up later than that. Sunday came, and I was up early. Again, my own self love began to invade my space- I was tired and stressed. Then service begin, and I felt that lens zoom out again. That day was filled with such beautiful experiences. I watched as at least 5 people, eyes filled with tears, turned their hearts towards Christ. Then, outside in the baptismal pool, I was privileged to baptize 7 new believers at NHC. The presence of Christ was so near, and so real. And, there I stood, so small in the midst of something bigger.

Monday rolled around, and I was able to attend my monthly minister's fellowship group. I have been with this group for a year now- and I love these men dearly. I look forward to these meetings like a kid looks for Christmas! During our meeting we all talked about our lives, our churches, and our families. We shared the humorous, the troubling, and the downright ugly. I sat in that group, and we laughed together, cried together, and prayed together. The fog lifted again- and I felt His presence at our table. I felt His shadow as we prayed to Him. I knew I was part of something bigger. I felt.... so in the way.

We must cherish these moments, and learn to live in them at every given opportunity. Else, we will fall deeply in love with ourselves. And one who is deeply in love with himself is a most wretched creature: good for no one, not even himself. The realization of our own smallness, and the opportunities we have to be part of something bigger, keep us honest and in right relationship with our Lord.